Are You Okay?

I have a habit I didn’t even realize I had until recently. My mum stayed with me for a few days, and every few minutes I’d turn to her and ask, “Are you okay?”

After maybe the 10th time, she finally said, “E don do.” And honestly… fair. But I think I asked that question for two reasons.

First, when someone I love is with me, I feel responsible for their comfort. I want them to feel okay.

Second, a lot is happening in the world these days. Everyone looks strong on the outside, but you never really know what someone is carrying. It's important to check in on the people who seem to be holding everything together.

Here’s the funny part, though. The one question I’ve started to dread lately is the same one I keep asking other people:

"How are you?”
“Are you okay?”

I thought it was just me until I was speaking to my friend over the week. She said she no longer knows how to answer that question. In that moment, I felt so seen. I understood exactly what she wasn't saying.

To be real with you, because I want to be as honest about the bad days as I am about the happy ones, I’m currently in a season of recalibration. It’s why I avoid that question.

How do I explain that I’m slowly slipping into a dark place? That I haven’t felt like myself in a while? The person I am right now—distracted, tired, and overstimulated—isn’t the person I remember being.

I know I’m not the only one. We’re all out here pretending. Bills are getting paid. Work is getting done. Social lives look good on the outside. But behind the photos and small talk, many people are just trying to stay afloat.

Adulthood isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes it’s just… heavy. And nobody really explains how much it asks of you until you’re already in it. 

But here’s something I keep reminding myself: Not every day has to be a good day. And not every hard day needs to become a catastrophe in our minds, either. Sometimes things are genuinely difficult, but when we start seeing them as unbearable, we stop moving. We freeze.

Life has always been this mix. Some days are hard. Some days are beautiful. Some days you’re sad. Some days you’re happy. Sometimes you’re just sitting somewhere, remembering who you used to be.

You’re not here to create a perfect life. You’re here to experience life. And somewhere within all those experiences, you find little pockets of comfort.

So don’t rush to fix everything.

Let yourself feel what you feel without trying to dress it up or make it sound nicer than it is. Sit with it. Support yourself through it. Lean on someone if you need to.

Today doesn’t require a big solution. Just try to be a good human, to yourself, and to the people around you.

Life has a quiet way of working things out over time. The turn you didn’t want to take sometimes becomes the bridge you needed. You might not see it yet. But things have a way of compounding, shifting, and surprising you.

Allow yourself to be surprised. And don’t give up.

“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”
— André Berthiaume

Your turn, I'll ask, and you don't have to pretend for me: Are you okay?

Things I love this week

1. Emma Grede's interview with Issa Rae on her podcast, Aspire. There's a lot to unpack here on why Ideas Don’t Matter If You Can’t Execute.
2. My husband’s breakfast special: strawberry-banana smoothies every morning because it’s strawberry season. If my wedding gown doesn't fit, blame the chef.
3. Fisayo Longe's New Money campaign - for serious business only. I love a well-thought-out marketing campaign.

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 As always, thank you for being here and for being you. ❤