Birthdays are weird, but here is to 24

There are two types of people in the world: people who love their birthday and plan for it all year long, and those who wish they can forget it is their birthday. Today, I am the latter.

It’s November 25, 2021.

My birthday morning (Pause for celebration. throw confetti. Sips wine). I’ve had to answer these questions a million times today, “how are you celebrating?” “Are you excited” “what are you doing today?” to which I respond “oh, I’ll probably just watch friends or any TV show,” and I sense the “she must be lonely or depressed” in their tone.

So yeah, the energy is high. I feel like a kid in the candy store instead of being overdosed on sweets and chocolate, I might OD on mushy messages. My cheeks are so red I imagine them exploding and splashing on my white walls like a thick red love-shaped stain.

On one hand, I am happy I successfully made a trip around the sun. When you live in a country that is listed as one of the 1000 ways to die, making a trip to the mall alive feels like something to be grateful for. On the other hand, it’s official, I am a year older and closer to 30, dammit!

I hate the concept of aging and if you think about it, birthdays are downright weird — so you took a slimy trip down the birth canal, and from that point, everyone celebrates you for doing nothing more than sliding your way out of your mom’s lady parts after causing her heartburn, backache, sickness for nine months. To be honest, you didn’t even do the hard work. As a kid, birthday means balloons, cake, pastries, juice boxes, and presents. As an adult, it is an excuse to throw a party, receive gifts for your aging while you watch your friends post ugly pictures of you and everyone is nice to you as you pretend you aren’t scared of what lies ahead. Do you see my point? Maybe not.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a joy killer. I love any meeting with food, music, and drinks. I just feel birthdays in your adulthood is a trigger for social anxiety and the expectations are quite high when all you just want is to have a fantastic day with no form of pressure.

To me, birthdays are bittersweet. They humble me to reflect on how I am going to make the most out of the time I have left on this planet. As I write, Alessia Cara’s seventeen is playing in the background. I hear these words

“ See I was racing and waiting for the day that I would be old enough
Guess I’ll be patient and pace myself gotta prepare for when goings rough
I was too young to understand what it means
I couldn’t wait till I could be seventeen
I thought she lied when she said to take my time and breathe
Now I wish I could freeze the time at seventeen.”

If I could freeze an age, that would be 22. Life was good then. Right now, I am just grateful to be alive and it’s a reminder that I have another chance to put myself out there.

If you could freeze time on a particular age, what would it be? think about it. Don’t forget to clap if you enjoyed reading this and tap the follower button to read more interesting content from me.