Life Lately + The Urgency of Free Will

Hey you, my precious inner circle of the Whiskey-verse. I know. I know. It’s been quiet here. No notifications. And for that, I owe you an apology. September was… well, let’s call it what it was: a lazy month.

Now, I could pretend I wasn’t going to overshare, but who am I kidding? You know me by now. So here it is, September was me trying to figure things out. Trying to rest. I promise you, neither happened 😂.

Two days ago, I took a walk, and the question hit me: if someone asked me to describe my 2025 so far, what would I say? And this is what came to me.

2025 feels like God carrying me like a baby. But since I am a restless baby, I squirm and wiggle out of His arms because, obviously, I want to walk on my own. Play on my own. Only to get lost. Again. And again. And I throw a big baby tantrum (I have lost count of my crash-outs so far). But then, as He always does, God shows up. Looks at me and asks, “Want me to carry you again?” And I, of course, run right back. That has been the rhythm of this year.

This year has been a series of pivots. I’ve tried on more hats working in new sectors like real estate, beauty, and sustainability, and also walked away from a few that didn’t quite fit. I’ve carried more responsibilities than I’ve ever had to. And while I thank God for strength, sometimes I don’t want to be Strong Abby. Sometimes, I want to lay the cape down. My dysmorphia crept back in full force.

Nobody really talks about what it feels like to gain weight after being skinny all your life. At first, it’s cute. It’s “oh, look at you filling out.” Then reality hits, nothing fits. Dresses betray you. Zippers break mid-breath. And suddenly, size 8 and size 10 feel like enemies conspiring against your wardrobe. I wish the food would go to the back instead of my stomach, if you catch my drift. 🤭

The gym and I are back in a committed relationship. Spoiler: it hurts, but at least it’s the good kind of pain. Oh, and before my family, relatives, and busybodies start clearing their throats: yes, I forgot to get married this year. Truly, I was so busy, I forgot to pencil it into my calendar. Maybe next year, yeah?

Anyway, I could peel back more layers, tell you every little mess, every little triumph,  every tantrum I’ve thrown at God, every time I’ve walked away from something that no longer fit. And maybe soon, I will. But let’s pin that for a minute. Because now, I want to ask you. If someone asked you, right now, to describe your 2025, what would you say?

Here’s where I’m going with this: free will. Free will, in this context, is simply the quiet power to choose for yourself, to decide how you want to live, celebrate, or even feel, without waiting for permission. Most days, without meaning to, we let others steer like our parents, our bosses, our friends, even the endless scroll of Instagram and TikTok. Meanwhile, our free will lingers quietly in the background, waiting to be noticed. So much of life runs on default: the same routines, the easy yes, the familiar places. But what if we gave ourselves permission to choose differently, even in small, joyful ways? It doesn’t have to be a grand move across the world. You just have to stop acting like a passenger in your own lives.

Here are a few ways you can start using your free will today:

Declare random holidays. For instance, "Today is my I survived Monday day". You can celebrate with ice cream for dinner.

That new outfit you just got for a special occasion? wear it now. Agbada on a Tuesday? Why not?

Say no without explaining...because truly no is a complete sentence and it feels so good

Throw a solo dance party with your favourite playlist in your living room.

For once, change your routine. Take a different route to work. Try something new.

Host a just because party. Invite your friends over and celebrate nothing in particular.

    Use your free will like it’s the most precious thing you own, because it is.

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 As always, thank you for being here and for being you. ❤