My 5 rules to being unbothered

I was scrolling through TikTok the other day—because, let’s be honest, what else am I supposed to do while waiting for my rice to boil? – when I stumbled upon a video. It was a woman narrating how she was completely unfazed when she found out one of her closest friends had badmouthed her and gone on to sleep with her boyfriend.

Instead of crying or confronting them, she simply blocked them both, ordered herself shawarma and a cold drink, and went about her day like nothing happened- No long speeches, no dramatic revenge plots, just a clean exit and a soft life.

And honestly? I felt that. This is the art of seriously not giving a crap about what others think, feel or may say about you. If we’re being honest, we’ve all been there. Someone says something hurtful, a situation doesn’t go as planned, or life throws unexpected nonsense our way. The instinct is to react, to defend, to prove a point.

As I sat there, eating my now-cooked rice and goatmeat pepper soup, I asked myself: what if the real power lies in simply not engaging? Or can we really be unbothered without giving a single care in the world?

Maybe, but here are some of the rules I live by:

Rule 1: “Okay and?”

The main thing to becoming unbothered is knowing your worth. Your opinion of yourself should be worth so much more than another random person’s opinion.

Always use the “Yes and” method. They said you are ugly. “Okay and?” …. They don’t like you. “Okay, and?” If some random person decides to hate on you, oh no! The world has ended! Just chill and say, “Okay, and?” and move on.

Rule 2: Focus on yourself

The ultimate level of being unbothered is being too busy enjoying your life to notice negativity. Stop paying so much attention to what others are doing around you and start paying attention to YOURSELF. Keep a low profile, get busy pursuing your goals, and put in the work for YOU, not for what you want to prove to others. 

Rule 3: Expect less from others but more from yourself

Remember that not everyone is you or would do the same things for you as you would do for them. But once you start to expect more from yourself and set higher standards for yourself, that is the first thing you need to do to become your best version.

Rule 4: Stop reacting to everything

Not everything needs or deserves a reaction. The best way to gain power is simply not to react. If someone is trying to rudely tease you, and you don’t like it, DON’T REACT to it. It is your reaction that they are thriving on. Sometimes you just gotta leave people to do the lame shit they do.

If I make a decision that’s best for me, I don’t owe anyone a long speech about why. No over-explaining. No justifications. Just vibes.

Rule 5: Do not tolerate disrespect under any circumstance.

This is the most important one. If you keep allowing disrespect from other people, not only are you disrespecting yourself, but you are also basically sending a sign that it's okay to disrespect you and they can keep doing it. You gotta put boundaries in, and when someone crosses them, say sternly that you will not tolerate it.

At the end of the day, being unbothered is about realizing that not everything deserves a reaction. It’s about knowing your worth, protecting your peace, and moving through life with effortless grace.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have zero cares to give.