Read this if you have ever been rejected.

Let me put this out there…rejection sucks and stings.

We’ve all been there — that moment when someone or a group of people think that you are not good enough, not talented or qualified for that window of opportunity. The words that come after the “no” turn into a throbbing ache in your throat, then into a crippling sense of disappointment and shame you try to push down.

The last time I was rejected at a job interview, I let myself feel sad for days. Honestly, I felt I had a really good interview and I was confident I would get the job. Does my resume speak of experience and brain? Pretty much creative for what the company was looking for. But oh boy was I wrong. Days after I got my rejection call, I allowed irrational thoughts to flood my mind for days — you are simply not good enough Abby.

Frankly, the feeling of rejection is immensely painful. It’s cool if you want to roll up in bed, host a pity party, and allow the voices in your head to get to you that you ain’t worth it and you are a failure. That’s completely fine.

But, the word no doesn’t mean never.

It’s not the end of the conversation. The only thing worse than being a rejected person is being a person who’s never had to face one before because they played it small and safe their entire lives. The feeling is painful but it is short-lived. The trick is to know how to work with a ‘no’.

Here are tips I use to never stay at the rejection place for so long.

1. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Hazel Grace Lancaster in “Fault in our stars” once said, “pain demands to be felt.” Understand that we are all human and flawed. Cry if you must, do whatever gets you out of a sad mood. Usually, I just listen to motivating songs. I would recommend artists like Jessie J, Lizzo, their songs have a way of boosting confidence.
2. Now you are done feeling the pain, break up with your critical inner voice — you know, the voice telling you if you’d been smarter, hotter, louder, this wouldn’t have happened. That voice is your worst enemy. Learn to silence it. If you don’t, it would lead you to embark on self-destructive actions.
3. The next step is to channel your pain into something creative. See the “No” as your second chance to be better and prove them wrong. First, you need to remove yourself from the situation, be logical. What were your shortcomings? How can you improve on yourself you? What’s the roadmap to achieving it? Get creative with your pain.

When you look at no positively, you can see the value in it, celebrate it and have fun. I love me a good no. It fuels me to be better. It is a wake-up call to re-strategize and re-align with the bigger picture. So next time you get rejected, look beyond the no and use that as your drive to want more and be more.

Do have a rejection story you’d like to share? I’ll love to hear it in the comment section.

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