The Love languages of a Nigerian woman

Is it just me or does everyone feel like they didn’t get the memo that 2024 is a year for lovers? My computer must have been hacked or the mail was stolen, and my dog ate it. Oh, wait! I don’t have a dog. Regardless, the year has completely left no breathing space for the singles. It made me think about all those in love and those hoping to find it. I started thinking about Gary Chapman’s love languages– quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service.

The 5 love languages were created to help couples understand each other better and communicate love in ways that resonate. But honestly, wooing Nigerian women is a whole different ball game! It’s an art that needs to be studied, and these love languages might not always hit the mark for us.

Since I’m a proud Naija babe, it’s only fair I let you in on the real love languages. Whether you’re trying to win over that girl at work or keep your current relationship strong, I’ve got you covered. Think of me as the Nigerian Gary Chapman!

Money:  Call it materialistic, call it vain, call it whatever you want, but the truth is, money makes love sweeter. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness just didn’t know where to shop, and trust me, women love both. Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Want to make a Nigerian woman happy? Start her day with a credit alert. Offer to pay some bills. Invest in her passions and watch that love grow like an iroko tree. A Nigerian woman’s love language is not having to ask.

You need to have some cash ready to handle things without flinching. That’s why guys who say “Have you eaten? Please find something to eat” will always come last, instead of sending her favorite meal to her office or home ASAP.

But hey, don’t think you should always throw money at her. Money isn’t everything, which brings me to the second love language.

Have sense: Before you say or do anything, ask yourself – does it truly make sense?? If not, don’t do it!  Don’t move stupid. E better to dey single than to add liability to someone’s daughter. Having a bit of sense and emotional intelligence is top on the list. Know and understand how your actions will affect her.

Food: A fed woman is a happy woman. Food is one of the world’s greatest gifts, and Nigerian women absolutely love good food. We love it so much that we sometimes get super excited just thinking about what we’ll eat next. Food is a love language you definitely shouldn’t ignore. And if you, as a man, know how to cook, you’ve already won!

Attention: The quickest way to lose a girl is by making her feel unwanted. Pay attention to her!

Yes, we like yapping a lot, well that’s why we have you. We want to yap all day every day to you and know you will be there nodding through it all. We want you to show us you remember a conversation we had three weeks ago or the color of the shoe we like and spoke to you about.

Nigerian women are often attracted to men who notice and pay attention to the small details about them.  Her body language will always tell you what her mouth won’t. so, when there is a problem, you can fix it without her mentioning it. I can promise you that if your babe is getting enough attention, you will greatly increase the likelihood of your needs being met as well.

Give compliments: My Yoruba brothers got an A plus in this aspect. Give out compliments softly and sweetly. You don’t realize the effect a single compliment can have on her – to the point where she takes an action or makes a decision that changes her life for the better.

Actively appreciate the women around you and mean it. Also, aim for deeper compliments, not the cliché ones. Let her know how she feels like home, how she makes you feel confident enough to do anything, how her appearance brightens up every room, etc. You can only get to this depth if you actively pay attention to her.

I’ll end with this lovely quote I found on Beyonce’s internet – “Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it about the time between when you first meet some fine woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do. When people that have been together for a long time say the romance is gone, what they’re saying is that they’ve exhausted the possibility… and that’s impossible”.