This is how to make money in 2024

I dey find am too. Do you know?

No one tells you this, but you hit a certain age in your twenties when your main thought becomes – how do I make more money? That’s the level of adulting I’ve reached today. I wake up thinking about how to get rich by the end of the week.

When I was a little girl, all I wanted was to become an adult – eat four pieces of meat at once, wear heels, apply makeup, talk to boys, shop for clothes. I need to apologize to 5-year-old me because none of this is relevant. Had I known, I would have started working and saving money from age three. The older you get, the more responsibilities you have, the more your lifestyle changes, and the more you simply want MORE.

Now, being an adult trying to make money in Nigeria is like beating APC in an election. The odds stacked against you are enormous. E reach your turn to become rich aunty, 100,000 naira feels like 10,000 naira. How? The other day, I saw a 24-year-old self-made billionaire brag about his wealth. I looked at my bank account, faced the mirror, and just sighed.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a serious discussion. How can we make more money? And please don’t tell me to be frugal, save more, invest in this and that. Let’s skip the semantics. I don’t want to be frugal; I want enough to afford my lifestyle. I’m not dimming my light. I know what you’re thinking – there is time for everything. My dear, when you know what it means to not have, you simply don’t want to not have. Money loves me; it’s just missing the road to me these days.

Anyway, I was thinking of some ideas the other day. Let me know what you think:

1.  Move back to your father’s house and mooch off your parents. For starters, they brought you to Earth without your permission. Right? Plus, there’s love at home, though peace is debatable.

2.  Get adopted, preferably by a Mafia family, the Okoyas, or Tony Elumelu. Being a Nepo baby is the new oil money.

3. Buy a lot of baby oils. I heard that’s the new poster for being invited into the rich circle.

4.  Write a book or host a summit on how to become rich by charging people a little sum to buy or attend. People don’t ask questions anymore; they just follow trends.

5.  Become a bed tester… you know, get paid to sleep. It’s a thing, Google it.

6. Have you considered being someone’s partner for hire? The holiday season is coming up, and a lot of people need to show they are somewhat committed to someone. I think it’s a lucrative business… just make sure someone knows your whereabouts.

 On a serious note, how are people making legit money these days?