10 Unfiltered Thoughts I Had the Moment I Became a Wife
June 2nd marked one month since I married the love of my life. Yippee.
As a certified one-month-old wife, I am now clearly qualified to give marriage advice to all my single readers… Just kidding. But I do have thoughts. Lots of them. Some sweet, some surprising, some slightly controversial. Here are 10 things that have crossed my mind during my first month of marriage:
1. Marriage feels like living with your best friend that you also happen to have a massive crush on. It’s basically a never-ending sleepover. There’s banter, laughter, random conversations, occasional disagreements, inside jokes, and someone to tell every tiny detail of your day to. Honestly, it’s pretty great.
2. I finally understand why people get pregnant immediately after the wedding. That baby-making process? Too easy.
3. The amount of cooking involved deserves more public discussion. I discovered while we were dating that I enjoyed cooking for my husband. Marriage multiplied that instinct by three. I’m not complaining. I’m just surprised by how quickly my inner chef emerged. At this point, I am fully committed to the mission of fattening that man up before the year ends.
4. Marriage confirmed my belief that most people under 27 have no business rushing into it. Marriage requires a level of self-awareness, patience, sacrifice, and emotional maturity that takes time to build. At 27, you’re often still figuring out who you are. Before you start building a life with someone else, it’s worth spending time understanding yourself. I swear, there is no grand prize waiting for the first or last to be married. TAKE YOUR TIME!
5. “Wife” is a strange label. The word feels heavier than I expected. It carries centuries of expectations, self-sacrifice, and nurturing. For some reason, it still feels slightly unfamiliar to me. And while we’re here, everyone needs to stop calling me Amarya every five minutes.
It’s sweet, but I need time to adjust. Constant reminders that my life has changed dramatically somehow make me more aware of the change, not less. Like Sheldon Cooper, I require an adjustment period.
6. Having a husband is actually very niceeeeeeeeeeeee. For the first time in my adult life, there is someone intentionally looking for ways to make my life easier and happier every day. It’s a beautiful thing to be cared for.
7. Marriage involves a lot of “peopling” like family visits, frequent communication, event attendance, group chat messaging, etc. As a loner who is comfortable disappearing, this has been an adjustment. I’m learning.
8. The “Good Wife” is mostly a myth. The more I settled into marriage, the more I realized that “good wife” is often a standard created by family, culture, social media, or other people’s expectations. The truth is that a good wife isn’t defined by a checklist. It’s defined by character. It has less to do with performing a role and more to do with being an authentic, healthy, loving human being.
9. Everybody has marriage advice. Everybody! Most people mean well, and some advice is genuinely useful. But after a while, you realize that advice is not the same thing as experience.
10. Which brings me to my last thought: marriage is deeply personal. This might be the biggest lesson of all. The two people inside it shape every marriage. People can offer guidance, share stories, and tell you what worked for them, but eventually you have to live your own marriage. You’ll face your own challenges, develop your own rhythms, and discover your own solutions. The best parts of marriage aren’t the things people tell you beforehand. They’re the things you learn together along the way.
Things I love this week
- I watched the 1996 classic, “The Birdcage," starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. That was a class act. Check it out on Prime.
- This quote, because no matter what life throws at you, always remember God’s got you:
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As always, thank you for being here and for being you. ❤